The Best Blowjobs in Thailand

Why not start of right with a post on one of my favorite past times in one of my favorite places? I’m talking of course about blowjobs in Thailand. With all of the adult entertainment options available in the country, not to mention the dozens of blowjobs bars scattered around, finding a willing mouth in Thailand is about as difficult as finding ice in Alaska.

But that doesn’t mean that finding a great blowjob is as easy as pie. It’s not. A lot of women who work the industry in Thailand are surprisingly lame at buffing the old bologna and some of the better looking babes in the agogos even downright refuse to do it! It takes a lot of trial and error to find a true and living snake charmer.

It’s no exaggeration to say that I’ve been blown by thousands of women over the years. Hundreds of those blowjobs went down in the land of smiles. I don’t remember every detail about every suck job I’ve ever received. But I do know what went down and where. The best of the best continue to stick out in my mind. Many of those were more recent. It seems that women are getting better at the art of fellatio as time goes on. Either that or I’m getting more appealing with age and that’s driving women into an oral fixation frenzy.

Here’s a short list of the best blowjobs I’ve ever had in Thailand. Note that this list is not limited to Bangkok and Pattaya because I haven’t been anywhere else in the country. That’s definitely not the case. It just so happens that the best I’ve found were pros in these two towns.

Be Me gives a blowjob in Thailand

A surprisingly good job came from a fat middle aged lady named something like “Be Me”. She worked at a nondescript little massage parlor next to the 7 Eleven across from the 18 Coins Inn on Soi Buakhao in Pattaya. I stopped in for a foot massage and I was the only customer. Soon into the massage she kept motioning to the curtained off beds in the back.

I said no a few times. But curiosity and her way of insisting without being able to speak any English combined to make me finally give in. Once on the bed she started with a pretty lame back rub. When I flipped over she immediately threw the towel aside and engulfed my meat with her mouth. She did a truly great job delivering a slow and sultry suck job.

I had plans to hit off a whore on Soi 6 later in the day so I kept stopping her when I’d come close to blowing. She’d just move down a little lower and start working on my undercarriage before moving back to the main event when the coast was clear. This went on for nearly an hour until the time was up. I gave her 200 Baht for the massage and 200 more as a tip. Total damage: $12 US. When I finally got to my hot little number on Soi 6 I was more than ready to go and I blew a colossal load inside of her butt.

Pla and Poo: Better than it sounds

I have also received great head from two women who work at a dark and dingy little blowjob bar in Bangkok’s Patpong area called Star of Light more than a few times. Anytime I passed the place and saw either Pla or Poo sitting outside I couldn’t help but go in. Poo was a tiny bit chubby but she has white skin, a cute face, and a nice set of tits tipped with soft pink nipples that she always popped out for me to play with.

Poo could deepthroat with the best of them, taking the rod all the way down until there’s no more to go. She did it slowly but she did it until the job was done. Pla was a little prettier but also a little older. She could deepthroat hard and fast. The only problem was that she would only do it a few times before going back to the hand crank head suck motion more common in blowjob bars unless a request was made for more deep action.

The old head banger

An old broad whose name never remained in my mind was another master of oral irrumatio. She was about 40 with saggy boobs and a saggy stomach though her face was pretty enough and she could speak good English. Apparently she was married to a farang for years and even had a kid with him before he left her. Being old the best option for her to enter the sex industry was to go to a blowjob bar.  That’s what led her to Telephone Bar in Pattaya.

I met her after asking a woman sucking me off if there was anyone in the bar who could deep throat. The old broad came back with a big smile on her face, took her top off and went to work delivering a super hard suck job. Straight down the hatch every time with the other woman flicking my balls around with her tongue. I was running low on love juice since I had already given away two doses earlier that day. But I still managed to get a third load out with the dedicated hoover suction the woman delivered. There was a little too much teeth for my taste but it’s hard to complain when you’re tickling a woman’s tonsils with your dong. Especially while she’s looking up at you with big brown eyes.

Three cheers for Cheer!

Cheer at Bamboo Massage in Bangkok gave me the best oral I’ve ever received at an oily massage parlor. It was fast, furious and fucking fantastic. There was not deepthroat but it came close. And it was very good nonetheless, which proves that you don’t always have to go deep to go good. She was so enthusiastic about her work I could hardly believe it. She wasn’t a super model but she was sexy and had a good body. Her obvious love of the work made her look even better. I asked her why she never got married. She told me straight out she loved to bang lots of people and make lots of money. That’s was a refreshing alternative to the usual stories of woe or hopeful gazes and claims of still looking for true love.

Shampoo and Nam: a match made in heaven

Shampoo at My Friend You bar on Soi 6 in Pattaya has given me many good trips to third base. Her face was cute but truth be told she was big and fat for a Thai lady. With the way she did things this never mattered to me. She could meet all requests including deep throat. And she did a lot on her own volition too like licking balls and butt during the job.

Shampoo always performed best on the semi secluded couch in the bar. The ultimate session came when I told her I wanted to stretch out the action but not finish. I wanted to get edged. Because I planned to go to a soapy massage parlor after. She sucked me slowly for 20 minutes without making me pop. Then she took a short break to get her sister Nam from the front of the bar.

Many Thai girls say they are sisters in bars. But it usually just means they are cousins at best or friends at worst. In this case Nam was actually her sister. For those who don’t know, Nam means water in Thai. And shampoo and water go together like jam and toast. Spending another twenty minutes getting sucked by those two was absolutely amazing. It had me as hard as I had ever been.

This wasn’t the usual back and forth two person blowjob in Thailand with one watching the other suck. It was a true porn star experience. Both of them were going at it at the same time. Then one would occasionally bury her tongue in my bum while the other worked the head. Did I mention that it was amazing?

Later I made the mistake of trying a session with Shampoo outside of the dark bar. When she stripped naked I realized how unattractive she was. At least in my opinion. And I also noticed a huge growth on her hand that may or may not have been a wart. Needless to say I was put off and never went back to see her again.

The top nurse

The absolute best blowie I ever received in Thailand came from a lady who worked at the infamous Dr BJ’s salon in Bangkok. I visited earlier in the day and asked the mama to recommend someone would could deep throat. She pointed out a pretty woman in her 20’s who it turned out couldn’t really deepthroat at all or at least didn’t want to.

After having some lunch at the Subway just down the street I returned and asked the mama for someone who could really deepthroat and do it hard and fast. The mama translated it into Thai and the room cleared out. Literally. The 40 or so assembled women simply walked away. When they did however I saw a chubby lady with short spiked hair who had a big smile on her face. She wasn’t fat but she wasn’t the usual nubile 20 year old Thai one would expect to find in a good go go bar either. It didn’t matter.

As I came to find, she could deepthroat as good as anyone and she even encouraged me to put my hand on the back of her head and thrust into her mouth as hard as I could. It was like something out of the movies and it led to one of the best orgasms I had ever had. Over the next few days I visited the shop a total of ten times choosing the same woman and each time she’d get more and more aggressive, banging her head back and forth like she was at a heavy metal concert in the 1980’s. It was simply fantastic.  Alas when I returned to Dr BJ’s a year later my down-bellow dream date was gone. I haven’t seen her anywhere since but at least I’ll always have the memories.

Ann

Finally, I can’t forget about a sweet little babe named Ann who worked out of a beer bar on Pattaya Beach Road Soi 7. She was obviously the star of the place as she wore all kinds of gold jewelry, rode her own expensive moto and only showed up to work when she pleased. I think she took a liking to me as she agreed to go back to my hotel for an amount much lower than the going rate for a woman of her caliber one late night.

Back in the room, she proceeded to gobble my knob with the utmost proficiency. She kept taking it out to the very tip before going balls deep on each thrust. It was absolutely amazing and the sex that followed was also great. I stayed in touch with her after I ended that particular trip but as could be expected some falang decided to sponsor her and take her out of the industry. You know, like The Police.

Other favorites have been Amy and Koy at Som’s Haven and Ploi at Lolita’s in Bangkok.

The last time I checked all of the other women mentioned were still working, except for Ann and the spiked hair chick from Dr BJs.