Go go bars in Chiang Mai

Happy new year dear readers! I hope you spent the turn of the calendar with a turn in the bed, but if not don’t worry. I’m here to deliver more fantasy fodder for the reliable return viewers and new visitors alike. If you can’t be somewhere the next best thing is to read about it. Or at least that’s what a chick I know who writes erotica tells me.

Chiang Mai is the biggest city in Northern Thailand. It isn’t the biggest city in the world but a lot of people from around the planet end up there for some reason. If you hang out in some parts of the city you will see tons of foreigners. There are lots of Chinese people but also lots of Americans, Spaniards, Brazilians and Israelis.

Although there are tons of foreigners there is no big obvious sex scene like you see in Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket. The obvious is mainly limited to the beer bars on Loh Kroh Road which I’ll write about later. The less obvious are the soapy massage parlors and brothels which I’ll also tell you about sometime soon and the other happy ending massage parlors in Chiang Mai that I’ve already covered.

Old timers say Chiang Mai was once a heaven for cheap and plentiful action complete with all nude go go bars and a local version of blowjob barbershops but some sort of campaign came along to wipe it out. After that things were more limited and discreet. Right now there are just two non-nude go go bars in Chiang Mai, which surely must please the roving hoards of elephant pants clad backpacking broads who want “authentic cultural experiences” such as shows put on by poorly paid indigenous kids for their benefit in between visits to the local Starbucks.

There happen to be Starbucks within walking distance of both go go bars in town, which is either funny or convenient depending on how you look at it. The hours are a little different though, so mornings are a better time for frappuccinos and evenings are a better time for fap material. Or something like that.

Spotlight A-go-go is the oldest go go bar in town. It’s located right along the old city’s moat only a few minutes walk from the famous Taphae Gate. There are big signs outside in English and Chinese that make it hard to miss. The bar officially opens around 7:00 pm but things don’t really get going until about eight and the place goes into full effect even later than that.

The first time I visited this go go I was impressed. It was filled with hot chicks in thongs and small tops having fun. That was then. Later visits showed me something else. There are still a lot of chicks but only a few are really hot and the fun is more limited. There aren’t any really nasty looking ladies but there are more than a few with bellies or saggy sweater puppies. Don’t ask me why. Maybe there was a condom shortage ten months ago.

When you walk into Spotlight there is a bar straight in front of you and a stage to the right. The seats at the back of the bar are good because you can see the stage fine and the chicks waiting to dance. Plus you can ask questions to the bar staff and mamasan who speak better English than most dancers. Well, if you can hear anything. The music is on full blast.

Probably fifteen chicks can be found at Spotlight. They dance in two shifts. They put the better looking chicks up all together followed by the not so hot ones. Don’t ask me about this either. I have no idea why they do it or if it is even done on purpose.

There’s no cover change. Drinks are fair at less than 100 Baht each. Lady drinks are 150 Baht. Customers frequently get playful with the ladies and vice versa and it’s not uncommon to see some slightly hidden grouping around the stage. The barfine is 500 Baht. Most dancers seem willing to go with most guys. The place closes after midnight unless it’s full of people.

Foxy Lady is the other go go bar in town. It’s much newer and much nicer than Spotlight but you never know what you’re going to find inside. This place also opens at 7:00 pm but ladies only get ready and start dancing around 8:00. A few show up even later. Usually the hottest chicks do this. Probably because they can. Foxy Lady is up a soi off of Loh Kroh between all the beer bars and the Night Bazaar. It’s easy to find.

When you walk in you see the stage right in front of you. There are bar seats around the stage and some booths over to the left. There is a big annoying pillar on the left side of the stage that blocks off a lot of the view if you sit over there. There is a bar in the back that no one but the staff uses and an upstairs balcony with its own stage but no one ever goes up there. I think the builders just had big dreams.

There are ten girls at most dancing and maybe three waitresses. The girls are mostly decent but you’ll see an old or chubby chick once in a while. Most of the dancers come from other parts of Thailand so you won’t see any white skinned local cuties up on the chrome pool. You get more of the typical brown skin central and eastern Thai look instead. The chicks wear bikinis but not thongs. They mostly shuffle around and look bored in sets of four or five. Every few songs they switch.

This place has two chicks who are kinda hot and can speak good English. Unfortunately they are also full of themselves. I guess being a big fish in a small pond can do that to you. So they can angle for drinks and deny requests for bar fines, and they do. I haven’t had any problems but in just a few visits I’ve seen guys get rejected or even insulted. There’s also a nasty habit of dancers critiquing some customers in Thai. I was there when two Mediterranean looking guys walked in once and one of the dancers on stage yelled out “keelei” (ขี้เหร่, or ugly in Thai) which caused a few others to crack up laughing while the guys had no idea what was going on. Is this what they mean by Land of Smiles?

The same mamasan has been at Foxy for years. She’s a chubby middle aged lady who is super easy going and nice. The bar fine is 600 Baht. The chicks wants 1500 Baht and up for themselves. Usually more like 2000 or 3000 Baht. I guess it’s a seller’s market.

Truthfully, I don’t have much use for go go bars in a city where there are so many other cheaper options. Some guys only know go go bars or for some other reason really love them. That could be why they are around and able to charge a lot more. I still stop in once in a while to see what’s going on but I have never been impressed by the two in Chiang Mai.

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